Day 13 - Post-op

Well, life never goes the way you plan  it out in your head, does it?  For the last few days, intermittently, I have been getting a really severe pain in my lower right abdomen.  I had spoken to my doctor about it a few days ago and after asking me a bunch of questions and discussing it we decided it was probably caused by the drain I have in me and since I would be getting it out on the 11th we would watch and see.  Yesterday morning that pain woke me up.  I painstakingly took myself off to the bathroom hoping that that was the problem.  I peed pretty good but that didn't help and nothing else was going to happen so I made my way back to the bed.  It hurt so bad that I was crying.  My hubby and daughter were downstairs enjoying their weekly time of bonding over zombie movies.  I always think I have to be tough so I managed to lay down on my back and if I didn't move even a centimeter it wasn't too bad but any movement at all sent a stabbing sensation to that area, I was also beginning to feel nauseous.  After dealing with it alone for over an hour and a half I finally called downstairs and asked Steve if he would come up.  He was there immediately, took one look at me and asked what was wrong.  I told him and he said, "Call the doctor, right now!"  So I got hold of the doctor and he finally said I needed to go to the ER.  Off we went!

So to make a very long story short, they sent me to ct scan, they ruled out kidney stones and decided it wasn't appendicitis but the ER doc said that he and my doc had reviewed the scan together and there was something a little funky near my appendix.  They removed my drain while I was there and all I can say about that is, "Hallelujah!"  The doc told me when they released me that there was a 50/50 chance that I would be back within 24-48 hours with appendicitis!  So far, so good.  I feel so much better just having that drain out of me.  I think it was something drain related causing the pain.  I haven't even had any pain medication since leaving the ER nearly 24 hours ago.

On another note is the weight loss.  If you have been reading since the beginning then you know that I went up 8 pounds after coming home from the hospital. I really didn't stress too much about that.  I knew it had to be fluid.  Since then I have lost that 8 pounds and another 5 on top of it.  My weight this morning was...drumroll...213.  That is down a total of 32 pounds since first meeting with the surgeon.  I know I am weird in this bariatric world but I really don't want to lose it too fast.  I am physically unable to exercise much still and if I lose really fast then I will just have more ugly excess skin to deal with.  Sigh.  Am I complaining?  I sure shouldn't be, should I?  Okay, so I will leave the weight loss speed and the excess skin in God's hands.  He always takes good care of my so why would He stop now!?

One thing I have to mention.  Others have mentioned it on their blogs but we always think we are gonna be different, we are gonna do better.  It is this: It is so tough to get all your protein and your fluids in.  It seems strange to me that someone who could down an entire half gallon of ice cream, or eat 5-6 pieces of thick pizza and breadsticks and soda would have any difficulty drinking 40+ ounces of water and other liquid or getting in 60+ grams of protein but it is true.  You are not really hungry and right now at the last day of my liquid diet, I am pretty tired of protein shakes.  I am excited for tomorrow when I move to the pureed diet.  I will be adding cottage cheese, non-fat yogurt, canned chicken and tuna (blended with broth to be like baby food) and a few other things.  Just to have something to kind of "chew" will be great!!  Come back soon to see how it goes!

                    I am still alive!

Just in case anyone was beginning to wonder about me, I am still here, lol!

Surgery was 8/27 and everything went fine despite me being a much higher risk than the average patient.  It took about 2 and 1/2 hours then I spent a couple hours in the recovery room before being whisked off to my suite...uh, room.  I was not allowed a sip of water, not even an ice chip until more than 24 hours later when I had my leak test.  That was really hard.  You are given those little spongy things that are on a stick that you can moisten your lips and tongue with but you are told that if you feel any water in your mouth to spit it out and not swallow!!  Who cared about food, I just wanted moisture.  The leak test was an experience, if you've ever had a test for a hiatal hernia or to look at your esophagus it is just like that.  You have to drink this incredibly horrible tasting stuff that makes barium seem like fine wine.  This stuff smells like floor wax and the technician and I decided it tastes like what we would imagine floor wax tastes like.  NASTY!  Then they scan you for any leaks.  All was fine and when I got back to my room I was cleared to start having liquids.  You are still on a clear liquid diet and the menu you use to call room service is pretty funny in my book.  You can choose from a variety of herbal teas, 3 kinds of low-sodium broth (chicken, beef or vegetable) and sugar-free jello.  You can really add variety to your life by choosing a different tea and a different broth each time.  Jello was pretty much one flavor available. Red.  Which really isn't a flavor but you get my drift.

The nurses and staff at Parker Adventist Hospital were awesome.  I have been in many different hospitals and it has been my experience that when you ring for a nurse be prepared to wait. Well, every time I rang someone would answer immediately and after I told them what I needed there was someone there to help me immediately.  My doctor and his staff were there everyday and I felt really cared about.  My niece, Amber, came one day and brought my daughter, Shannon.  I sat in the chair and we played the board game, Sequence, it was a nice change of pace and helped a lot to pass the time.

I went home on 8/29 and was so happy to be able to sleep in my own bed.  Hubby was mighty glad, too.  Except for the year he was in Viet Nam, it has been a rare night for us to not be together and he said there was just something wrong with the bed without me in it.  Of course, I was thinking,
"Yeah, it has some room in it!"

I came home with a drain as it seems many bariatric patients do.  It is not comfortable and it is not pretty but you deal with it.  At first I was having to empty the little receptacle (which looks like a clear, plastic grenade) several times a day but now it has slowed down to about once a day and even then it isn't very full.  You have to keep a log of when you empty it and how much was in it to take back to the doctor when you have it removed.

Food wise, I am still on the liquid diet until the middle of next week.  The only really new and kind of different thing I have added is strained 98% Fat-free cream of chicken or cream of mushroom soup made with skim milk, however, it tastes wonderful.  You will find you are sick of things that are sweet.  Did I really say that?  It's true, shakes, jello, crystal light, flavored water, all of them are sweet and so the slightly salty, savory taste of hot (well, at least pretty warm) soup tastes really good. 

Be prepared to not really care much if you put anything in your new little stomach.  You aren't hungry or you don't feel like you want anything so you have to make it your mission to get some protein into your body.  My surgeon requires 60-80 grams daily and it is tough.  He doesn't recommend that you start on the vitamin regimen for a week or so as you heal so it is doubly important that you push yourself to get some protein in your body.  You will be tired and weak just from the trauma of surgery so don't make it any worse.  I won't lie to you, I am struggling to do it.  Yesterday my protein total ended up being 59 grams and that was a concerted effort.  I am finding I just want to have something that I can really chew.  Try chewing jello, lol!  It doesn't really work. 

I am not complaining, I am not sorry I did this, I just want this blog to be helpful and honest and it won't be if I pretend all is fine and dandy.  I still have some pain, I don't have any energy but I am looking forward to that turning around soon.  Oh and it is a good thing I don't freak out easily because I got on my scale the day after coming home and I was up 8 pounds from my pre-op weight, 8 pounds!  But I knew it was just fluids and as I have emptied that drain over and over and watched the scale start coming down it has proven to be true.

Drum roll, please.  My weight on 4/29/13 was 245, my weight today 9/6/13 was 215.8.  I had lost 25 pounds pre-op and now the scale is starting to move and 4 more pounds have left me.

Long post today but I needed to catch up.  See you all soon!

                                          Tomorrow is the Big Day!

So I missed a couple of days blogging.  We have been having internet problems and hopefully that is all behind us now!

So I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 am tomorrow for my 7:30 am surgery.  I am not a morning person so the sooner they put me under anesthesia so I can sleep, the better :)  Seriously, I am really not nervous at all.  I have had quite a few surgeries in my life so for the most part I know what to expect.  I was pleasantly surprised earlier this evening when I received a phone call from a Dr. Gardner who said he will be my anesthesiologist tomorrow and he wondered if I had any questions.  I have never had a call from one of the docs involved in a surgery before.  I am more and more impressed with Parker Adventist Hospital the more I deal with them. 

Today was Day 7 of the liquid diet.  For those of you who are pre-op, it really wasn't that bad.  I highly recommend that you add broth and sugar free jello to your regime.  I didn't the 1st two days because I didn't understand that I could have them on this phase.  When the dietitian in the doc's office told me that I was very happy and it helped so much!

Well, I am going to log off and get ready for the big experience!  I'm sure it will be a while before I get back on here but I will have lots to share!

                              Day 4 of Liquid Diet

Wow, this is actually getting really easy.  They told me it would about day 4 but I tend to be a bit of a skeptic.  Yesterday when I was at the surgeon's office I saw, Erica, the dietitian and was picking her brain about this pre-op liquid diet and discovered there was more I could have than just the protein shakes.  She told me I could have low-sodium broth and sugar-free jello and that it would count as part of my fluid intake.  That may not sound like a big deal but I found having something a little salty/savory like chicken broth has made all the difference in the world!  I am someone who loves my sweets/sugar but 3 days of sweet protein shakes was getting old.  So I had some chicken broth as part of my "dinner" last night and as part of my "lunch" today and I have to tell you, grandma is a much happier camper now, lol!

Yesterday as I mentioned, I saw my surgeon for the pre-op visit and we talked about all the possibilities of complications that were at all possible.  The list is actually quite long but I figure it this way.  I am quite literally dying from the complications of obesity anyway.  My health has gone to heck in a hand basket the last few years and I feel I have nothing to lose.  Besides I truly believe what scripture says in Hebrews 9:27, that it is appointed unto men once to die.  I believe this means we each have that appointed time that only God knows and when it is my time, it is my time.  So I am going for it and expecting a good outcome either way!

Another plus of this liquid diet is that I have dropped 2 more pounds.  That means since the day I 1st met Dr. Long (4/29/13) I am down 24 lbs. Now there are people who will be saying, "Well, why do you even need this surgery?  If you can lose weight without it why don't you just keep doing what you're doing?"  If you've read this blog from the beginning then you know that I have lost weight on my own, substantial amounts, several times!  I just believe after all my research that I need this tool (the gastric bypass) to help me to really change once and for all who I am as it relates to food and eating.  I will still be the one who has to do the hard work involved.  The surgery is not a magic button that makes it so I never want to overeat again but it does offer me a better chance to turn around my many health issues (diabetes, oxygen use, bad joints, hypertension, heart issues, etc.) At my age it has become much more about saving my life than looking good.  I had pretty much given up on myself but this surgical option has given me hope and a new outlook that I haven't felt for many years.

That is about all I've got for today.  Only 3 full days left before my surgery.  Woo hoo!

                                  Moving Right Along!

So today was kind of a big day.  First I went to the hospital for blood work and to get registered for my surgery.  That took an hour and 15 minutes.  Then I went to my surgeons office for my pre-op meeting with him.  Now first off I have to say that my surgeon, Dr. Joshua Long and all of his staff are just so incredibly awesome.  When I began this journey back in April I had no clue what a Center of Excellence was but I have to say, now that I've done so much research and truly understand what this means, The Bariatric and Metabolic Center of Colorado in Parker meets and exceeds everything I have read that you want to have in a doctor's office when you start down this path.  And even though I am a 63 y/o grandmother I will say that it does not hurt when your surgeon is really easy on the eyes either, lol!

Dr. Long really took his time with me and went over everything I can expect to happen the day of surgery.  He filled me in on every possible complication that could possibly happen.  I am a bit of a higher risk than most patients due to several co-morbidities and while we do not expect any bad things to happen, I really appreciated that he took the time to explain what each thing was and what could cause it to happen.  Because of my issues he told me I will go home with a drain for 2 weeks.  The goal of the drain is to help the insides heal well.

We went over each and every one of my meds and which ones I needed to stop now and which ones I should continue until the day of surgery.  I discovered that one of the meds I am on for arthritis pain, Celebrex, is one that I will have to discontinue as it is not good for a bypass patient.  It helps a lot with the pain so I am just praying big time now that getting 100 lbs off my joints will stop most of the pain! And because I am on blood thinners I will have to stop them and bridge the time til surgery and a few days after with a drug called Lovenox.  It is injected in the stomach twice a day.  I have had to do this before for other surgeries so it is no big deal to me.  Plus, since I am diabetic I am used to injecting myself.

Today is also my 3rd day on the liquid diet.  I'm really not experiencing hunger, just that urge to want to eat because it is what  we do, right?  I am supposed to get 5 shakes in each day and I am finding myself surprised that I am having trouble doing that!  Who knew I would ever have trouble getting any kind of food or drink in??!!  Today, because I got a late start due to the appointments and had to be fasting for my blood work, I am really struggling.  It was nearly 1pm before I got home from the doctor's and I have only gotten 2 shakes in so far and it is after 5pm!  I have a feeling I may only get 4 in today.

Oh, and I also took my measurements today!  I sure wish I had thought to take them before I lost 22lbs but better late than never, right?  I am going be brave and post them here.

Neck - 17 inches
Upper Arm - 17 inches  How can my neck and my arm be the same size?!
Upper Chest - 44
Across Breasts - 47
Waist - 44
Hips - 50
Thigh - 27
Directly above Knee - 19
Calf - 17
Ankle - 11

I know, it does not give you a visual of a very pretty sight but it is what it is and if I am going to be any help to anyone who has had this kind of surgery or who is contemplating it then I must be honest.  And so there you have it, friends :)

                                        My Story - Part 3

So yesterday I left off with the saga of my experience with my Diet Center franchise. That fiasco was over in 1991.  And when I say over, I only mean that we closed the business.  I was soon to learn that in some ways it would never be over for me and for the next 20+ years I would allow it to affect much of what I did or did not do.  I continued for  most of that time to avoid going anywhere that I might run into someone associated in anyway with Diet Center.  That included clients, other Diet Center owners, their employees, my ex-employees, etc.  So every time anyone wanted to go to The Renaissance Fair, Taste of Colorado, an amusement park, a fair or festival of any kind, I would make up an excuse why I couldn't go.  I was so ashamed that I had failed.  I felt like I failed all of the people that I had worked with over the 7 years that my business was open.  I had believed we could all keep our weight off and now I proved I was a fraud.  At least that is what the voices in my head continually told me.

Meanwhile, I was continuing to gain weight.  I just felt like I didn't care anymore how big I got.  I am very blessed to have a husband who loves me in spite of any dumb or crazy thing I do but I didn't love me. 

This was at my son Eric's wedding and as you can see I had gained a lot of weight, for the first time I was well over 200, about 235 or so.

Finally, I had another chance to get healthy.  I was offered a chance to be part of a 10 year study looking at the effects of even a small weight loss on the heart health of diabetics.  As with most things, Ms. OCD jumped in with both feet.  While I weighed about 198 when I started the Diet Center program I now weighed 243 when I started the LookAHEAD study.  I was in the intensive lifestyle intervention part of the study and met with my mentor/counselor, Marsha, once a week and started on a healthy plan that included 2 liquid meals a day (either slim-fast or glucerna) and 1 healthy meal of real food.  I even got my developmentally disabled daughter, Shannon, following the regimen with me.  Over the next year I dropped 60+ pounds and was looking and feeling pretty darn good.  Shannon and I even went on a Scrapbooking Cruise to the Caribbean during this time and did pretty well with our eating plan.  Then came Christmas and we went to Arizona to spend it with my mother-in-law and brother and sister-in-law. 

This was in AZ at Christmas.

Steve's mom was one amazing, amazing cook and she loved people with food all of her life.  When she discovered that I wasn't going to be eating her wonderful concoctions she became upset.  She kept looking at me and saying, "Really?" I am saying it to myself now in her voice.  "Really?"  Well, eventually I caved and that was it for me.  I have always had an issue with not doing something perfect and if I was going to  go off my plan it was going to be all the way.  After all, it was Christmas, I had been perfect for a year, I almost never got to eat my MIL's food so Katie bar the door! 

The big problem with me or someone like me with all-or-nothing thinking is that I couldn't (or wouldn't) get myself back on track once we were back home.  I stopped going to the visits with my counselor or any event that the study put on.  I put all my weight back on and got back into my mode of not wanting any of those people to see me and see what a failure I was.  What a vicious cycle I put myself in.  And the really sad part is how many years I have wasted not having any kind of a life.  I have become so much of a recluse.

But...I am ready for that to be over.  I am ready to take whatever years God will give me and start doing things and having a life.  I am ready to spend time with people I love. doing things that matter.  I am ready to take whatever health I can regain and have some fun.  I want to see my grandchildren grow up and graduate from high school, go to college, get married and have children of their own.  I am ready to live!!!!!!

I hope I can be an influence for good to other obese people who are in the same boat I have been sailing in.  To be a force for good in helping others to avoid losing years and years of their life to the shame and embarrassment I felt.  I hope this little blog reaches someone that I can make a difference in their life!

                               My Story - Part 2

Here I am at the end of my first day of my pre-op liquid diet and while I had very little problem with wanting to eat I do have to say that protein shakes are not that great.  I was supposed to drink 5 but only got 4 in and since it is after 8pm I think I am done!  I have to try some of the recipes I have been collecting to try to make them more palatable.

I discovered a website that I want to share because if anyone ever reads this blog I want them to have this info because it is freaking fantastic!  I happened upon it accidentally and I love, love, love it.  It is... www.bariatrictv.com  It is hosted by two women who both had RNY bypass about 6 years ago.  They started the show in 2008 and it is still up and running.  I believe there are 162 episodes available to view.  Each episode is 8-10 minutes long and it is entertaining, informative and motivational.  These two are a hoot!  They became friends through their surgery.  They had the same doctor and same hospital.  Most of the bloopers they just leave in although I did see one episode that was all bloopers.  You go to the show date archives and if you are like me you want to start at the beginning but each show can be viewed and enjoyed separately. You won't be sorry, I promise.

Yesterday I started down the road of my dieting and weight loss history. I left off at a time when we had moved back to the Denver area and I discovered I was just a couple pounds shy of that dreaded 200 pound mark.  I decided I needed to do something about it and so on Jan. 2nd, 1984 I made an appointment at my local Diet Center.

I signed up that day and as I always do, I was the perfect little (okay maybe not so little!) dieter.  I followed the program to a T and at the end of 4 months had lost 60 lbs.  My counselor, Darlene, and I also became best buds through this time frame.  She also  had lost a substantial amount of weight on the program.  The owner of the Diet Center kind of latched on to me and kept telling me I would be perfect to run a center.  These were franchises and of course, she would get a kick-back if I purchased one.  Well, I was psyched!  I was on that high that we feel when we have just lost a lot of weight.  I was young, 34, and I was on top of the world basking in the compliments that come with the weight loss and the new body.  I convinced my hubby that I just had to do this and we took a 2nd mortgage out on our home and purchased our franchise. Before long Darlene and I were on a trip to Rexburg, Idaho for a week of training. 

 

I am the one in the middle in the blue dress and my best bud, Darlene is the beautiful little blonde in the bottom left side.  This is our entire class of franchisees and counselors.

This is me with the founder of Diet Center, Sybil Ferguson.

She as a counselor/employee and I as a counselor/franchisee.  I opened a center in a town about 45 minutes from my home (my territory) and began a very different life, at least for me.  Every day I help other people lose weight and in the beginning I believed so much in the program (I was the one that was programmed!!!) that I was confident I would keep my weight off forever.  Forever!!

For a few years everything was hunky dory but we all know that our problem with food goes so much deeper than any diet program.  It wasn't too long until the pounds began to creep back on and I couldn't get myself in control.  Eventually, I had to hire some gals to run my center because I was too embarrassed to show my face around there and not having to be accountable I gained more and more weight.  I forgot to say that after a couple of years I had purchased a 2nd franchise so I had another location to be responsible for.  I felt like Dolly Parton's character in Steel Magnolias when she opened her 2nd salon and said, "I'm a chain!" but before long it felt like I was wearing a chain and I was miserable and so I ate!  I sold the 2nd center to a local radio celebrity who had lost weight with me and I would only go to my other center to collect income and do payroll on the weekend when no one was around.  I was in a trap I had put myself in and finally we just closed the doors. 

For many years after that I avoided going much of anywhere.  I never went to local fairs or events on the off chance that one of my previous clients or employees might see me.  I became more and more of a recluse as time went on.  I was so ashamed of how I had preached that the program was the answer to long-term success with your weight.  I imagine there were some people who lost their weight and have maintained that loss but if you are here and you are contemplating bariatric surgery or have had it already then you know that no diet, no program is the magic bullet to fix the problem.  There is so much more to this problem of obesity and food addiction than we even know.

I guess that's enough of my gloomy story for now.  Tomorrow is Day 2 of my liquid diet and I am still psyched for my surgery and my future even if I am not psyched for 13+ days of a liquid diet, lol!