Well, I am in total shock! I figured it would be a long time until I would have any page views on my blog and I assumed (you all know what they say about assuming, lol!) that I would only have views after I let my friends and relatives know I had a blog but I just logged on and had 23 views since I started yesterday. Thank you, whoever you are, I am no longer just talking to myself!
I can't believe how nervous or anxious I have suddenly become. That is just not me. I think I am worried about being perfect with everything. I am trying to get all the right vitamins. The nurse said I really will want liquid vitamins for the first couple of weeks but I am gonna go ahead and try the chewable ones I already purchased and if the are a problem then I will spring for some liquid ones. I had been stocking up on protein shakes to be ready for the liquid diet I am starting day after tomorrow. I had bought mostly Atkins because they are the lowest in carbs but tons of people including the nurse (who by the way had the VSG surgery a year ago so she knows!) say they are terrible and that I should exchange them. So my dear sweet hubby is off right now returning stuff and getting me new stuff. I had bought B-vitamins and then found out I need the sublingual B's and since I tend to see myself as pretty tough I figured I could swallow my Calcium Citrate and my D3 but got convinced to return those and get chewable ones.
Last night we had an outdoor movie night at my brother's. They have been hosting them all summer, sometimes with the kids, sometimes just adults. They got a big blow-up screen and a projector and hooked it up to their Bose system. It is pretty awesome. They purchased a ton of movie type candy, you know, like Junior Mints, Mike and Ike, etc. and most of the summer I have been partaking but last night I threw a protein bar in my purse. When the candy got passed around I said, "No thanks, I brought a protein bar. " My sweet niece who was delivering candy said, "Well, good for you." So there I sat in the dark, watching the movie and slowly, with teeny bites and chewing well enjoyed my protein bar. I had thrown 3 different ones in my purse so I could have a choice. Enter the monster, no, not on the movie screen, the one in my head. It started saying, "Wouldn't you like to just have another protein bar? After all, you have 2 more in there." I fought with myself for a while and finally convinced myself that it was only the "old me" talking and I am creating a "new me" and there are going to be many, many times in my future when I am gonna want to eat something I shouldn't so I might as well start having victories over that monster now because he isn't going away! I reminded myself of something I read somewhere recently and put on a sticky note on my computer. I don't know where I saw it so I am sorry I can't properly attribute it but it is good and it is true!
Just because you got the monkey off your back does not mean the circus has left town forever!
We have to be hypervigilant with ourselves, I guess forever. And some of you out there probably have a longer forever on this earth than I do so keep working on that self-talk in your head. Keep it positive and don't beat yourself up!