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Monday, September 23, 2013

                     Day 26 Post-Op

Coming up on 4 weeks since the surgery.  Some days it feels like it has been a long time and I have to remind myself that this is still new.  I kind of messed up but not in a  bad way.  I have been doing 2 weeks of the pureed diet but when I re-read my info it says I only do 1 week of pureed.  It certainly hasn't hurt me but I am ready for more normal texture and perhaps more choices.  I will be moving to the soft phase of the eating plan.  No more having to make everything the texture of baby food or applesauce, yay!

I have been struggling a little with some head hunger.  Just normal life situations, for example, yesterday DH made baby back ribs for the rest of the family.  Several hours of slow cooking with that wonderful smell permeating the entire house.  I caught myself imagining trying to eat some of them.  But after a few minutes and a little self-talk I was okay.

Then today we went to my grandson's football game.  Afterwards they all wanted to go to Cold Stone Creamery.  My oldest son, Eric, is dieting so at least I didn't have to be the only one not indulging.  It was a little bit hard.  My granddaughter, Kaitlin, had a Chai flavored ice cream in one of those chocolate dipped waffle bowls.  That would've been my container of choice back in the day.  My Kaitlin is a beautiful 14 y/o dancer and has that body.  It was interesting to watch her eat her ice cream.  I would've eaten every bite and also consumed the entire chocolate waffle bowl but she ate some of the ice cream and nibbled on the edges of the waffle bowl.  She left most of it for the trash.  I keep reminding myself that is how thin people eat.  The lesson I took away from the experiences is that this is still going to be really hard.  Up until now I haven't really thought that much about food other  than the things I can currently have but I have to live in the real world and figure out ways not to feel so deprived in situations like this.  Don't get me wrong, I was fine, I got through it but it was a wake up call for the rest of my life.

Today my weight was 204.8 so I have officially hit the 40 pounds lost mark!  What I am really having a hard time with is the fact that I don't feel so much better.  I guess that somehow I thought my fibromyalgia and my painful joints and my energy level (read that as, having no energy at all) would improve or maybe go away.  And they still might but I am sad that I don't feel a lot better yet.  I just thought I would.  I am getting all my vitamins every day.  I am getting at least  60 grams of protein so I don't know.  DH wants me to talk to the docs about it so I guess I will...eventually. 

I know this wasn't a very uplifting post and that is just not me.  Perhaps I am going through some of what the gals at call wls puberty.  Apparently your hormones are carried in your fat cells and when you lose weight you get a sudden influx of those hormones to your system.  I am sure feeling emotional the last few days so maybe that is what it is.  I  will keep you posted, my friends.

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